one might say we're banned from that church
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
