It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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