O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
