I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Randomize
