"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
