you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
