Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
