Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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