After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
