I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
