How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
