I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
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