my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
