I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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