I cockslap morals
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
