I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
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