It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
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