After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
you had me at cake vodka
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
