At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize