she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
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