i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
