i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I didn't notice because vodka
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
