You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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