Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
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