Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
