So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
