Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
