FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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