I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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