I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Randomize
