ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
