The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
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Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
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She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS