I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable