sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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