Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
