Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
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