Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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