ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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