But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
