Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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