just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize