How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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