other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I think my moral compass just broke
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize