He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
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