You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You need Xanax blowdarts
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
