He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize