I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
