Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize