normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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