In the future we'll all be gay
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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