white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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