Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
