grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
