Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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