Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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