Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
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