Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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