Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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