I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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