Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
love makes seman taste better
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
