I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I booty called her while she was in labor.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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